Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
