Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
