I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
