I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
