ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize