you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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