My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
