They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
