Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
