i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
