I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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