My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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