apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall