the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.