Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

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  (617): Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston. http://tfl.nu/p3k5
  Replies (56) Good night (3960) Bad night (640)
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  (760): View more from California

  i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

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  (760): i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have http://tfl.nu/ddny
  Replies (22) Good night (1014) Bad night (5298)
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  (714): View more from California

  You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that

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  (714): You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that http://tfl.nu/q1k2
  Replies (13) Good night (4755) Bad night (1327)
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  (209): View more from California

  You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.

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  (209): You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him. http://tfl.nu/xni0
  Replies (15) Good night (4070) Bad night (1477)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.

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  (413): Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor. http://tfl.nu/leq0
  Replies (12) Good night (4299) Bad night (1650)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.

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  (+61): THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/omc3
  Replies (12) Good night (3596) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  im coming over

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  (269): Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry (1-269): im coming over http://tfl.nu/72kd
  Replies (4) Good night (1335) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.

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  (774): Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider. http://tfl.nu/cq9b
  Replies (1) Good night (1203) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.

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  (512): There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it. http://tfl.nu/1bu2
  Replies (12) Good night (1630) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...

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  (843): When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"... http://tfl.nu/sfou
  Replies (6) Good night (1912) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...

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  (630): I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night... http://tfl.nu/aiyg
  Replies (9) Good night (544) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.

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  (917): Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life. http://tfl.nu/kv1x
  Replies (11) Good night (767) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.

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  (517): I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish. http://tfl.nu/ztbe
  Replies (2) Good night (870) Bad night (414)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs

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  (905): He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs http://tfl.nu/gppx
  Replies (4) Good night (583) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.

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  (865): Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night. http://tfl.nu/toib
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (548)

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