My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle