I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I didn't shave. On purpose
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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