I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
