i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
