she smelled like a LAN party
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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