All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
