im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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