You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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