R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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