ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
