I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
