I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
