Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
dude i'm inner monologue high
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
