i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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