Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
