he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
They have beer where we have blood.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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