HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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