Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
