Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
