She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
