well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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