i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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