U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
