paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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