I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
