I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
