I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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