We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
