well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
