i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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