Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
