i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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