i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
