All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
