She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
