just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
