the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
