she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
