Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
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she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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