ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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