dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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