I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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