youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
