He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
