I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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