Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
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Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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