Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
