I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
