Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
