Im at strip club and am horny
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
