new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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